How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
- Winnie The Pooh -
- Winnie The Pooh -
Why they're tough.
Goodbyes have always been emotional for me. Quite simply, they suck. They seem long and drawn out, and the anticipation itself is painful. My heart develops deep connections with people and places. When it comes time to sever the connection, I can feel it pulling at my heart strings, even if I know the separation has numbered days. Tears uncontrollably flow from my ducts, and I am vulnerable at all times. I can feel the anticipation, knowing it's going to hurt in the catharsis--the final release of emotions during the actual act of leaving. It's hard whether I am the one departing, or I know someone else is parting from me. It's simply exhausting to feel the roller coaster of emotions.
Why they're beautiful.
A goodbye is beautiful because it signifies there was a connection to start with. We are all interconnected, yet some people and places are more powerfully intwined with our spirits than others. A painful goodbye means there is an attachment to something real--something true. When leaving is hard, there was something to leave, and that something is beautiful.
What I've learned.
I've said a few goodbyes in my time. Goodbye to a vacation spot with associated staff members and new friends. Goodbye to family members when returning to my life in another state. Goodbye to cities, jobs, coworkers, professors, schools, teachers, people moving away, relationships, and more. Here are my tips on saying goodbye:
- Be honest. It's okay to be sad, angry, or worried. We should accept what we're feeling in our hearts, as it represents our kindred connection. If comfortable enough, we should also express these feelings. Tell someone or write it down. Feel it as it's part of the process.
- Stay present. Leading up to the separation, it's easy to be consumed by the thought that it will soon be ending. We feel like the last day/moment needs to be extra special and executed perfectly to make a lasting impact on our memories. However, just let it be. Experience each moment without anticipation of the next, and embrace the normality. Which leads me to...
- Keep it simple. Grandeur will catastrophize the finality. We should stay true to the essence of our relationship with the person/place/etc., and keep the final moments as simple as possible.
- Be grateful. No matter what has led up to the "goodbye," be thankful for what has been shared with the person, place, job, etc. It may help to write down what we are most sad about leaving, and to be very specific. Recall all these positive attributes, feelings, and moments to feel the happiness you have shared. This gratitude will heal your soul, and bring positivity to the temporary pain.
What I'm feeling.
Sadness. Joy. Happiness. A full heart. Love.
This morning, I said "see you later" to someone who has, in two months time, completely changed my world. In my heart, I am full of love and gratitude for the ability for us to connect. I am thankful we were pulled together by the universe. I am faithful in further developments of our connection, despite physical separation. I know there will be days where I'm missing more than others. Yet, I will be carrying with me a full heart. It will be worth the hurt, which will undeniably coincide the immense joy and elation. I know this is not permanent, and we will be united again soon. My heart is so full, and I am so lucky.
This morning, I said "see you later" to someone who has, in two months time, completely changed my world. In my heart, I am full of love and gratitude for the ability for us to connect. I am thankful we were pulled together by the universe. I am faithful in further developments of our connection, despite physical separation. I know there will be days where I'm missing more than others. Yet, I will be carrying with me a full heart. It will be worth the hurt, which will undeniably coincide the immense joy and elation. I know this is not permanent, and we will be united again soon. My heart is so full, and I am so lucky.
You can love someone so much...But you can never love people as much as you can miss them.
- John Green, Paper Towns
ॐ KConn